reflectedeve | a shyness that is criminally vulgar

There is wank in my fandom today. People I like and respect (but mostly do not know, because I am new and quiet) are all over the fence (both sides, sitting-on, perilously attempting to balance as they walk along the top of).

My response is apparently to go around randomly friending more bandom people. (People who I think are on various sides of the fence; that is not my criteria. I have no particular criteria.) Oh hi, I think you're all cool and stuff but I'm shy and faily and don't post much so I'm just going to sit here and watch you like a lurker freak.

So really, it's a day like any other day.

(For the record? Anon memes used to make me really uncomfortable, but I changed my mind somewhere along the line. I've always been pretty cool with Fandom Wank, for all that it sometimes gets out of hand--or just lame--so I guess that means that I'm not always about fandom being warm fuzzies . . . just most of the time. 80% warm fuzzies, 20% intelligent snark! That would be my ideal.

Anyway, it seems to me that people on both sides are getting upset and defensive because they feel that their happy space is being attacked. For some of them, a fannish happy space is a space without anon memes; for others, anon memes are their fannish happy spaces. You know what? Follow your joy, bbs. I'm sad that people have to stop being friends over this, but otherwise, I don't think it matters. Fandom is what it is for each of us, and I'm generally okay with that.)

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I was just about to text you out of distress, but now you have made me feel a lot better about the entire thing. I am not involved at all, obviously, and I'm grateful for that, but I wish people weren't fighting, you know? Everybody is right and everybody is wrong, and it sucks. But yeah, fandom is what it is for each of us, and we all should follow our joy. And you're my favorite, for real.

Aww. *hugs* ILU to death, y'know.

It's definitely upsetting: it's an ideological divide, of sorts, and a lot of people can't compromise across that. I'm sad and worried about the broader fannish community. :( I just hope that everyone who is hurt feels better, and learn to live and let each other live even if they can't agree/exactly be friends.

Reading

misspamela's post made me feel better. I'm just looking forward to people calming down, really.

NO YOU.

I just - it's really hard to watch, because I really like people on both sides, and it sucks that they're fighting, especially when there is no right side. I like

misspamela's post, too, and I agree with her, which helps. On the other hand, I also found myself a lot more willing to listen to

quettaser and

impertinence than

monkeycrackmary, because I do a lot better with rational defense than with righteous anger. Sigh. I also hope people calm down quickly and just, like, enjoy

bandombigbang and shit.

I am listening to Bullets right now. What does that say about me? :D

especially when there is no right side.
Yes, this. Though it comforts me a bit, because I don't have to . . . get up there, declare allegiances, defriend, etc.

I know what you mean about the righteous anger turn-off. Fandom has actually conditioned me that way (Fandom Wank being no small contributor), because I've seen that doing that--even though it can be understandable and sometimes even necessary--tends to shut down discussion entirely. The bandflesh folks are the ones who sound a lot more open to dissent just now, and that works better with me, even though I feel bad for the people who have been hurt.

But yes. Fic! And love!

I'm upset, too, and kind of bewildered. This fandom continues to make me so happy just for existing, to the point where I don't understand how people can be mean, angry, sad, upset, etc., in a world in which something like this can bring us together. I know how simplistic my thinking is right there, and I certainly never felt surprised that there could be the amount of wankery that there was in my children's book fandom, but I guess I don't ever want to leave this happy place where just seeing Frank Iero's face or listening to Amanda Palmer's lyrics or reading Pete Wentz's blog can make me happy. These concerts have all been amazing and open experiences for me, too, but maybe I'm just a ridiculous Pollyanna in the end? I don't know.

I want the fighting to stop, too. :/

LET'S BE RIDICULOUS POLLYANNAS TOGETHER, OKAY? <333333

YOU AND ME AND FRANK, BB!! ALL RIDIC POLLYANNAS! <333333

Sweetie, I love you for your Pollyanna-ness. <3 You're always reminding me of the real reason I'm in fandom in the first place . . . the sheer love of the material. Your posts tend to be both gushy and thoughtful and I'm always left feeling happy and squeeful and a little inarticulate (by comparison).

I've tended to lean a bit too far towards the snarky and critical, the last few years, so it's really wonderful to have you around. <3 (Well, and you're generally fabulous.)

I want the fighting to stop too. It will, though! Tons of new longfic every day . . . I'm confident that the wank can't hold sway for long in the face of that. :D

I know! BBB is delighting me, and I wish I had more time to read...

Part of what I'm feeling right now is the contrast between how unbelievably open and friendly and chatty and cool Frank was Saturday night, when he has every reason to be some sort of stand-offish diva, and how mean and conflicted bandom is being right now.

Bandom, Frank says to cut it out. (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T4Y9EEWtmbQ)

Me too, this is actually totally the worst week for it, for me. ^^; But I'll probably want to do some wallowing next week, so I'll have it then.

Much as I absolutely love fans, most of the time . . . we're never going to live up to our fan-objects, not in this fandom. Oh, Frank. <3

a shyness that is criminally vulgar

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