I misunderstood the point of this ride

Ugh, yes, exactly. I don't even know ... the idea that white people can only identify with white characters (while people of color are expected to identify with them too) is patently absurd, and yet so completely prevalent. It amazes me that I've really only been able to understand this in explicit terms for a few years, too, though looking back I remember other instances when it bothered me in a less conscious way. I understand why all that happens in an academic sort of way, but in practice ... brain-hurting is exactly right.