I wanna hear you sing the praise

[reflectedeve]

Oh god, self. Please stop daydreaming about making it in the comic industry and someday getting to talk to/collaborate with (??!) Gerard Way. There are many reasons to want to make comics, that should not be one of them.

(I am sad that I currently don't have space for a GWay icon, but Pete gets to be on this post because crowd-surfing at the White House correspondents' dinner. Oh god.)

Yeah, um, so I kind of thought I was past the ability to obsess this much about a fandom, but apparently? Not so much. A few weeks ago, I was afraid that I'd get knee-deep and realize that it was all a mistake, because I was just not quite done with being stupid.

I feel really badly about all the stuff I've been ignoring/abandoning because of all this. (I will be pretty surprised if I actually do anything for paintedspires at this point, and I'm really sorry about that!) The thing is . . . I think I really need this fandom right now. I moved in January, and since then life was full of greyness and city and blah, trying to adjust to not seeing my family, trying to deal with the fact that my job is lame and that I felt boring and sucked-dry and completely without any kind of creative inspiration whatsoever.

This fandom is fun and exciting; it's full of very (often non-conventionally) attractive men and women and music to fall in love with, really excellent fic, and even some really great social aspects (I mean, when concert-going is a major fannish event--more central/important in some ways than con-going is with other fandoms--that's different). Flist, I feel so good now. I am drawing again, I am happy, I even feel more sexual than I have in longer than I really care to remember. (I'm sure you all needed to know that.) I feel motivated to do shit again, and not just things that are directly related to fandom. (And in conjunction with spring? Oh shit, bbs, I am on a fucking roll.)

I really can't even say how badly I feel about being an asshole last year, because I get it now. But I'm not sure I could have gotten it before now, because now is when I need it. I will try to make it up. (Did I mention that I'm drawing?)

Okay, I think I'm done with my love-ranting for right now. Apologies to the large percentage of my flist who are probably just blinking incredulously right now. <3

This is not to say that I am completely out of all other fandom at the moment! Because I am actually really loving this season of Doctor Who, and I kind of want Donna/Martha fic right now. Donna Noble is my hero!

Comments

[sweetvalleyslut.livejournal.com]

:D hermionesviolin and I were marveling over your sudden capitulation last night. But all teasing aside, I'm really happy to be able to share this fandom with you now!

[reflectedeve.livejournal.com]

*laughs* I still kind of feel compelled to like, chronicle my capitulation saga or something (it was sudden and it really wasn't, also). But yeah, just having way too much fun to continue feeling terribly self-conscious or embarrassed (though guilty, guilty still has its place for sure).

Sharing with you may very well be--no, really is--the very best part of all this (and all of it is so fucking wonderful). Thank you thank you thank you. <3

*mushball*

[olivia-circe.livejournal.com]

THIS FANDOM SAVES YOUR LIFE.

I mean, seriously, I'm not even kidding, because I've been having the shittiest year I can remember having in a really long time, and I've gotten through it on the strength of a great deal of willpower, the internet, and bandom. It definitely came at the right time for me, too, and I needed it, and it just keeps giving back.

And I'm so, so glad that you've joined us in the love-ranting. <3

[reflectedeve.livejournal.com]

That's really kind of true, and I was really kind of thinking that on the bus last night.

*hugs* I'm glad too. I was afraid that this would be like . . . joining a cult? And it kind of is, a little, but a happy fluffy absolutely non-skeevy (except when I am skeevy and wishing that I had only gotten along with Gerard's editor better last year--oh stalkerish fangirl, no) sort of cult. I am so glad I sucked it up (about the embarrassing flip-flopping thing) and caved.

[fuschia.livejournal.com]

*glomps you* This sounds very similar to my "you're right, bandom is the best thing ever" post here: http://fuschia.livejournal.com/255045.html#cutid1

So, I completely understand. Plus, Jareth!Pete ftw, and don't think *I* haven't been thinking: heyyy, we own a comic book store, Gerard's in the comics industry...etc.

[reflectedeve.livejournal.com]

Ahaha yes. I remember that post, and I remember being kind of ". . . huh." over it, and now I am in exactly the same place. *glomps back*

don't think *I* haven't been thinking: heyyy, we own a comic book store
*laughs* Oh indeed. (You know, I'm pretty much fine with the fact that my Dark Horse excursion didn't come to anything. I don't think it was the right place for me. But all the same!)

BTW, I'm coming home for Pride, so I'm totally swinging by MM for Free Comic Book Day. Will I see you, I hope? ^^

[fuschia.livejournal.com]

Hee..well, actually, you won't see me...because I'll be at the MCR show in St. Louis on Saturday. (I know, I know...)

The funny thing is that I remember having no idea why The Umbrella Academy free comic was going as quickly as it did at last year's FCBD, and this year I'm, um, seeing MCR four times in one week. *facepalm*

I am a little bummed to be missing Pride, but Gerard is sort of a one-man pride parade.

[reflectedeve.livejournal.com]

*snerk* No no, perfectly acceptable reason. I'm envious really . . . I get one concert, and I won't be GA. Not that I am complaining!

I knew, but I was kind of snarky about it, even though I picked up a copy. ^^; (Not that I didn't like Umbrella Academy, because I did! And finding out that Gerard was a cartoonist totally started softening my snark, just a bit.) I actually talked to Scott Allie a good bit about the comic and even MCR's music . . . was mildly interested in the former, and politely skeptical about the latter. Tsk!