reflectedeve | turn up the music and pray that she makes it through (Reply)

Some seriously shitty things have been happening IRL lately (not really to me, but to people I love); thank goodness for the distractions of the internet. There seems to have been a minor flare-up of two bandom-centric wanks (the warnings business and bandflesh). Funtimes! :| I don't really have anything to add, except a great big WORD to

wistfuljane's post. (

impertinence also has a worthwhile post on Anonymity and Livejournal.)

On the other hand, this has spawned a nifty post from

iamtheenemy about fandom experience. A lot of people have been weighing in about their fannish history in the comments, which I find fascinating. *_* Mine's kind of pointlessly overcomplicated, but thinking about it reminded me of a conversation I was having with

hermionesviolin awhile back, which was sort of hilarious.

I'd been musing over my ten-year fandom anniversary (I got into my first fandoms, Sailormoon and Labyrinth, during 9th grade; the 1998-99 school year), when something odd occurred to me. I also began the process of coming out (to myself, as well as to others) during that time, and it was also around then that I started drawing 'seriously.'

I've been a doodler all my life, and in childhood I had a tendency to make picture books and draw designs for the characters in the stories I made up, but I'd never thought of myself as an artist. My love of comics started around age 8 or 9 (and I drew plenty of fanart), but I'd never considered that I'd want to make them when I grew up. For some mysterious reason, this picture of Sailor Neptune really struck me, and I became obsessed with trying to reproduce it. (I seriously have no idea why that particular picture. It's so random!) By the end of the year I'd gained a reputation for being an obsessive wannabe manga artist. (Around the beginning of college I attempted to shrug off the anime influence as much as possible; but drawing comics, one way or another, pretty much took over my life. In case you hadn't noticed. :p)

Meanwhile, while I'm sure that beginning to recognize my sexuality was in part due to the environment (there was a great deal of experimentation going on at that school; to be honest, it was more or less trendy), the first woman I consciously admitted being attracted to was a cartoon character: Sailor Uranus. (Megumi Ogata has a sexy voice. Om nom NOM.) The first fanfiction I read was all het (Usagi/Mamoru, seriously, younger self?), but I quickly switched to reading yuri/femslash religiously and all but exclusively. This lead to some extremely faily initial ideas about the way lesbian sex worked, alas, but was still legitimately educational in some sense.

So apparently fandom made me gay, and an artist. Or the internet made me a queer fan artist. Either way. *g* Uranus/Neptune = OTP.

Also tangential to the whole personal fan history thing: Star Trek is reminding me why I have always gotten into fandoms late, when there are already tons of recs and goodfic epics just waiting for me. My life, so hard.

If I can't find enough Kirk/Spock to satisfy the craving right now (I have an unusually strong case of OTP fever, ack), at least there is all kinds of Ray/Ray fic I can go back and read. It's a long story, but I just finally watched "Call Of The Wild" for the first time on Tuesday. (I laughed, I cried; I made noises only dogs could hear; I lol no'd bowling alleys. I am currently rereading

brooklinegirl's Long Road (Long Ride Home) and it's even better now. ♥)

Oh, and lol latest, but: I'm really sorry about your band's split, Panic fans. :( I know I'd be devastated if it were MCR. I really hope that you keep enjoying your fic, bbs, and maybe even wind up with two great bands to love. ♥