I misunderstood the point of this ride

Well, I continue to more or less live in outer space (I’d feel guiltier about this, but it’s kind of a survival thing right now; finances and mental health are both pretty disastrous, although I’m doing my best to change that, slowly).

After an ... extended period of rewatching, note-taking and analysis, the outline for my Garak/Bashir fic project(!) is coming together, although I’m weirdly having a much easier time with the emotional arc than the plot. (This is seriously unusual for me! At least, in my original work, where concept/plot/worldbuilding are always the easier part, so far.) I’m getting closer, though ... and deeply excited to just immerse myself in writing these characters.

(Mainly, I’m struggling to invent the specifics of a convoluted, covert plot worthy of Elim Garak. I mean, that’s kind of next level, you know? Argh.)


Also, I semi-accidentally took a NSFW fanart commission based on the suspension scene from The Policy of Truth a scorching hot BDSM-centric fic by Prevailing (WiP, but worth it, and I’m fairly certain she will finish it eventually). Which was also a bit of a departure on a number of levels.

( Here’s the (NSFW!) full image. )

I kind of have a lizard problem. But at least I’m enjoying myself?

This show.

Oh my gosh. I just have an embarrassment of fannish holiday riches this year ... I'm a little beside myself. <3 How is everyone so awesome?

This has been, as I've said before, an extremely difficult year for me on a personal level, as well, of course, as on the larger social/political scale, and just. I can't say how grateful I've been for my fannish and online communities. This is just above and beyond. <3 (I am completely exhausted, because I stayed up until about 4:30 a.m. trying to finish art presents for my family, after spending the bulk of my 'free' time for the last few weeks working on commissions. So that's totally why I'm tearing up. No, really.)

For yuletide, I received three lovely stories:

The Kerkylas Society (Miss Fisher's Murder Mysteries, Phryne/Mac, Explicit)
In which blackmail and untimely death are plaguing a discreet Melbourne ladies' club, and Mac brings Phryne in to investigate. The plot is, of course, a bit sad and difficult, but handled well. The characters and their relationship are delightfully true to the material.

Interspecies Anatomy Lessons (Wayfarers series, Rosemary/Sissix, Explicit)
A porny little tag to the scene where Rosemary & Sissix get together in The Long Way To A Small, Angry Planet, complete with delightful silliness, frank exploration and comparative anatomy. Just what I wanted, jfc.

Tea and Time Travel (Oxford Time Travel, gen, General Audiences)
Set immediately after the end of All Clear: Verity Kindle and Kivrin Engle step in to offer Polly Churchill some advice and support in her disorienting position, returning home subjective months and literal years later than ever intended. The post-time-travel historian solidarity I wanted so badly! OMG, so great!

And, for startreksecretsanta, this adorable fic:

My Dear Doctor by justabrain (Garak/Bashir, General Audiences)
On-station fake relationship fic! :D Delightfully tropey and fun; when Bashir hesitantly proposes that Garak pretend to be his boyfriend to set some visiting aliens at ease wrt his trustworthiness (since they value serious relationships as a sign of the same), Garak predictably goes right for it. It's just the right kind of fluff for this versatile pairing, and makes me so very happy.

How many times can I use variations on "delightful" in one post? But seriously, the warm fuzzies are just through the roof over here.

I need to get some sleep, and then I'm finally allowed to start reading A Stitch In Time and thinking (even more) about lizard aliens, lies and betrayal ... ;)

I'm finding that I don't have many words of my own for the state of things right now ... I'm trying to find ways to do what I can (calling representatives, spending a lot of time on twitter getting angry), but yeah. In the meantime, this keeps happening:


Inspired by Good Omens, naturally. "My dear doctor, I don’t quite understand this ritual feeding of waterfowl. How does it pertain to intelligence work, exactly?"

I've been having fun with various prompts, as well (all quite SFW, don't mind me):

Kira introduces Ziyal to baby Kirayoshi
Jadzia beats the literal pants off Quark at strip tongo
Bashir offers Garak some enjoyable company during an infirmary stay
Jadzia Dax and Lenara Kahn enjoy a beach date
the potential usefulness of a Cardassian tail
Quark reacts dramatically at Odo & Lwaxana's wedding

I'm a few episodes into Season 7, although my frustration with a number of developments has slowed my progress a little ... on the other hand, the google doc I have for (ahem) story notes keeps growing, and I have a request out to the library for a copy of A Stitch In Time. I haven't tried to write fic outside Yuletide since at least 2005 (and the less said about that the better), and the last time I tried to write something really involved for a fandom was ... never? Labyrinth, maybe? Well, at least I have some grasp of what story structure even is, now.

I don't know, I'm ridiculous. But, I appreciate the distraction.

Um. Sooo. I seem to have fallen down a Garak/Bashir hole? I guess this is what I get for all the conversations with my roommate about how I don’t seem to have a taste for dark, complex, angsty stories these days. (SPN is the fandom of her heart, so naturally we differ a bit.) At least, not in fic. (Which, to be fair, I haven’t been reading a whole lot of for awhile in any case. I mostly look at a lot of fanart, and I listen to a lot of pro fiction audiobooks.)

I seriously have no idea where this sudden, intense fannish engagement is coming from. I’ve been contentedly making my way through DS9 for the better part of a year, finally, and while I love pretty much the whole cast (well, I have to admit, I still don’t care much for Worf, or O’Brien about two thirds of the time, but everyone else) and have a pile of pairings I enjoy thinking about … I don’t know. Maybe it’s the weather? Or the fact that I’m about halfway through season 6, and maybe the way that Garak and Bashir haven’t really interacted in awhile in canon has slowly been getting to me? Or it’s the stress I’ve been under lately? Although let’s be honest, that hasn’t exactly been anything new. IDEK.

But hey, yeah. Totally taking recs (thanks again, epershand) … for fic, and for active challenges? (Big Bangs and Reverse Bangs, I guess?) I mean, I should finish the show before I try and participate in anything, or read post-show fic (yeah, I’m saving “Letters from the Northern Continent”), but it’s kind of exciting to be feeling this kind of motivation to really get elbow-deep in a fandom again. (And while the dynamic between Garak and Bashir is particularly working for me right now, Kira is probably my favorite character, and there are a plethora of pairings and of course, all the team/found family feelings that I would be interested in exploring …!)

I also very much want all the Jadzia Dax/Lenara Kahn canon divergent AUs, naturally. (Both for the chemistry and the exploration of Trill culture/psychology.)

/asking for resources in a twenty-year-old fandom on a half-deserted fannish social media platform

In other news, I finally emailed some staffing agencies and was immediately landed with a short-term temp assignment and encouraging prospects for more, so financial crisis more or less averted, at least for now. I mean, I’m being underpaid, but I’m being paid.

Also, if you're Boston-adjacent, you should come get your indie comics on in Porter Square this weekend!